just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Lately I've been finding myself being more agitated after a day at clinic than when I first began.  It's really not fun to spend the evening in a  grumpy mood, and I'm sure it sucks for Amanda too.  After a little soul searching, I've made an observation.  I have a tendency to let negative attitudes exhibited by my colleagues at the clinic work their way into my own attitudes.  Maybe it's because I've been on their turf long enough that they don't feel the need to 'shelter the new guy' from their opinions of all the drama in the office.  Or maybe it's just that all the frustrating patients have waited to all come in together over the last few days.  (We have had some real winners lately, lemme tell you...)

Certainly can't pass all the blame off myself, but I do notice when the atmosphere in the office is ticked off, I get ticked off right along with it.  I guess that would be my prayer request - to rise above the negative thoughts, jaded opinions of medicaid abuse, and irritation with ignorance; and instead be filled with peace and warmth, which translates into better care for the patient.  And a better mental state for me when I come home.  And lower blood pressure.

I wrote down some of the more "memorable" cases over the last 5 weeks.  No names, no confidentiality violations, just some head scratchers.

• Mom is told to go to the ER because her son has a potentially life-threatening heart arrhythmia.  Mom calls the next day around 3pm to ask, "OK, when should I go to the ER?"
• Still breastfeeding son at age 32 months.
• 10 year old girl, weighs over 300 pounds.  (seriously, we couldn't weigh her... the scales only go up to 300)  When told to eat more vegetables, she asks if she can dip them in chocolate.
• Mom (and grandma) stubbornly attribute the wildly out-of-control behavior problems in a 3 year old girl to being traumatized by a house fire when the girl was ~6 months old.
• Dad bring in his son for a checkup, during which time he asks why his son's penis isn't bigger, and what treatments there are to fix this.  The boy is 6 and a half years old.  He also denies any provider from actually looking at it to see if there's an actual problem.

There are so many wonderful patient encounters, then there are those where you just want to bang your head against the wall.  But those folks are patients too, so they deserve proper care too.  And that concept I'm sure follows all providers throughout their careers.  So when healthcare gets frustrating, just help me remember the great aquatic philosopher, Dory: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...."

grace & peace